Hey guys. So, I’d just thought I’d update you all and let you know that I am expanding my blog!!!
So, I will be expanding my blog and I will now be posting about fashion and just general life dilemmas too. Don’t worry though I will still be posting book reviews too. So I am starting out this new expansion with my first “life” piece which will be starting right… now!
a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause.
So, this is how I’ve been feeling lately… a weird sadness with no cause that just makes me feel icky. That’s what I’ve been calling it, this sticky icky feeling that drags me down into sadness and discontent. But, here’s the thing I’m a really happy person I have great friends, awesome parents and generally great life but I’ve just been feeling this sadness. I’m not depressed or anything but it’s just weird I’m feeling this disconnect between me and life. Another blogger that I admire posted about this and it made me feel less alone so I thought I’d share about it too. I don’t know how to explain this feeling except with the word melancholy.
So, here I am writing about this sticky icky feeling so that maybe you guys will feel less sticky and icky. Ever since I’ve been feeling this way I’ve been looking for someway to describe it to finally make it real. So, I searched and looked for old lost words that may define this for me but then I realized I knew the word all along, melancholy. It happened in English class our teacher asked us to come up with words that also described sadness and my friend suggested the word melancholy. I realized I’ve heard the word and used it before but I never knew exactly what it meant so I looked it up. I read the definition and then I saw as an example “she was feeling a little melancholy” and I realized that’s me that’s the icky feeling that’s been following me around. Melancholy. Suddenly I felt a little bit of relief and a little bit less melancholy. So, I finally just realized it’s okay if I’m not happy all the time that’s just a part of life. My government teacher once said Americans have a strange obsession with happiness. This obsession of being happy is making me believe feeling anything besides happiness is wrong and it’s not. I guess now I can admit I feel more than happiness and that’s a good thing because I am feeling something.
“There is some kind of a sweet innocence in being human- in not having to be just happy or just sad- in the nature of being able to be both broken and whole, at the same time.”
― C. JoyBell C.
If you feel depressed or suicidal please search for help and talk to an adult or visit http://www.nami.org/. It does get better.
My Song Suggestion:
“Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Well, I’ve been afraid of changing
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m getting older too”